Writing Well

"In the final analysis one still has to, um, write well." -Tom Bissell

But what's meant by writing well?

Here's an example of McSweeneyite writing from nine years ago, by Heidi Julavits, one of their main players.

http://www.believermag.com/issues/200303/?read=article_julavits

Is it well written? From the viewpoint of the creative writing seminar, yes. But 95% of the public encountering it would consider it pretentious shit. Insufferable overwritten overlong pap. This is what the established literary world holds up to us as example to follow. No thanks.

The Julavits essay answers itself, when it discusses the terminal illnesses of novels and book reviewing. The explanation for literature's decline is in front of us. It's because of writing like this.
It's horrible writing, backed by shallow thought, maybe fit for an academic paper written for a professor but a criminal act to inflict on the reading public.